The Gift of Injury

opens the yearbook one last time 

I wanted to shed some light on my journey and how I got here. The truth is, when it comes to losing weight and getting into shape, I kind of cheated…

What do I mean by this? Well, let me explain. Around 2017, I slipped a disc between my L4-L5 vertebrae while deadlifting like a complete moron. No bracing, no belt, no idea what weight was even on the bar at the time, and certainly no one watching to make sure I was using proper form. I was at my high school lifting for football during a “non-mandatory” session two days before Christmas. There was a huge popping sound that even a friend heard, as he asked me, “Was that you?” right after the botched lift. No pain, just stiffness for weeks. I got it checked out by the Athletic Trainer, who said, “Give it two weeks.” Two more weeks went by, no healing. I returned to the trainer, who again said, “Two more weeks.” You can see where this is going. This cycle continued for a few months.

Then it escalated to doctor appointments, and they suggested Physical Therapy. Some healing occurred, but nothing too impactful. I was never able to return to 100% for nearly two years. And let me not forget to explain the pain. For those who have experienced back pain and back troubles—you know exactly how awful this kind of thing is. It starts as a stiffness in your lower back. Then the stiffness subsides, and suddenly you feel stinging, almost pin-needle pains in your butt (literally, I’m not kidding). Then, all of a sudden, you have electric shocks going down your leg whenever you make slight movements of the leg or rotate/flex/extend your back in any way. And if you get really lucky, your foot starts to randomly fall asleep, and when you're walking, it will sometimes randomly stick and not lift up all the way. This condition, known as foot drop, is due to nerve damage in your spine. All of this led to me sitting out my senior season of football. If all of that doesn’t sound fun enough to you, and if you get really, really lucky, you might not even be able to sleep because no position makes the pain go away. Eventually, nothing can stop the pain—not even 50 Advils. So you ask your mom to take you to the emergency room, and they give you muscle relaxers to stop the pain. Then, for the next week, you basically take the whole week off from school and roll around in a wheelchair until your pain subsides. Just so happens that it was also prom week, and you have to go get fitted for a suit in a wheelchair. And last but certainly not least, you spend your senior prom night sitting in a chair because your back hurts too much to enjoy yourself. Let’s just say I got lucky…

The worst part about all of this is that the symptoms progressively worsen throughout the day. So, at the beginning of the day, you see the light of perfect health, only to be shot down by the tremors of pain that come later. It’s atrocious, and honestly, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. This is how I lived for nearly two years, which is the main reason I say I cheated when it comes to my fitness journey. Once you’ve seen health at its worst in contrast with its best, you never want to return to that low point again.

In July of 2019, I walked out of a hospital on my own two feet after undergoing a procedure on my back. This procedure was a minor discectomy, where they basically shaved down the bulging disc that was protruding from where it should be (or at least that’s how I understood it). After weaning off the painkillers and muscle relaxers, I started to notice that the pain had just disappeared. I could walk normally without bracing for a sharp stabbing pain in my leg. I was literally walking normally again. For those who didn’t know me at that time (which is probably no one who actually reads this), I looked like someone who had a stick up their ass when I walked. My body had developed a swinging gait (gait: the unique way someone walks) in order to adapt to the pain and avoid triggers.

No pain, no weird walking style, no discomfort—what was going on?! Life was literally completely different. I spent the rest of that summer focusing on rehabbing my back and making sure that absolutely nothing kept me from the life I was beginning to regain. I listened to every single thing my physical therapist told me. I did my workouts every single day the moment I was allowed to.

Then I noticed something: the more days I would stack in a row without doing my workouts, or not sleeping correctly, or not taking care of my diet, the worse my body would feel. My joints and muscles would stiffen and feel weaker. Then I would start to feel unease and a twinge in my back, just like before… This might sound overdramatized, but it literally felt like the reaper was creeping up on me to bring me back to where my body was supposed to be. It was almost like I had escaped this prison only to be dragged back into it after being gone too long.

So I keep pushing through it. I keep adding to my diet to ensure my health. I keep sleeping correctly to allow my body to rejuvenate. I work out the different muscle and joint discrepancies I have to make sure I hardly run into injuries. I make sure to hydrate and properly fuel my body to perform. I study how the body moves and how nutrition aids in everyday energy. All because I want to outrun that demon. And who knows, one day it might eventually catch up to me, or I could die in some horrific way that completely disregards all of the work I’ve done. I told you, I’m very unlucky. But I will never regret any of it because I truly live every day feeling the best I’ve ever felt. I can think clearly, perform workouts easily and enjoyably, my anger, compulsion, and emotional state are much more under control, I work much more efficiently, and all of that allows me to get the most out of my own life.

So in all honesty, I cheated. I had everything, and just like that, it was taken away from me. I got a jumpstart on my progress through surgery, which helped me see a different side of life.

But that isn’t the point of this story because most people aren’t horrifically injured or in the state I was in. Most people just want to lose a few pounds, and unfortunately, it takes time to lose those few pounds. Although it took me a few hours in an operating room to turn my problem around, it actually took two years of pain to come to that solution. Progress gets you hooked, and those few pounds can be flipped around a lot quicker than my back could. Once you start to put in the effort and see the progress, you won’t want to go back.